Getting out of the house with young children can be challenging. You already know this. But once a week, you gather your littles, making sure they are wearing clothes and socks (or maybe not!), and travel to your Music Together® class. Why? Yes, the music is great; yes, singing and dancing with your child is a lot of fun; and yes, research has shown that music is great for your child’s growing brain. But what about you? Are you meeting other local parents with kids the same age as yours? Are you learning the names of the other children in your class, who may end up being your child’s classmates? Maybe you’re making coffee dates or playdates with the other families. It may even be that spending time with people who are going through what you’re going through can help you feel less alone. That’s the power of music to create and support community-making.
Let’s take a deeper look…
Near as we can tell, humans have been making music for tens of thousands of years, and the power of making music, particularly in a group, remains a universal feeling. Think for a minute about the last wedding you attended. How did you feel as you danced with friends and family to the “Cha-Cha Slide” or a Taylor Swift song? Have you ever been to a sports stadium and chanted with other fans in support of your team? Maybe you spent summer holidays singing in the car with your family, or you remember a room full of people singing “Happy Birthday” to your child. When people come together to make music for a shared purpose, they can experience feelings of togetherness and cohesion. Their heartrates even sync up!
Modern research suggests that people react to music in similar ways: Brain imaging scans (MRIs) have shown that while listening to the same music for the first time, different people’s brains can show activity in similar patterns. In addition, group music-making can support positive social interactions and foster empathy, demonstrated by syncing of heart rates of people engaged in group music-making. And, when you come together to make music in a Music Together class, all of these things are happening for you and your children.
How is community built in a Music Together® class?
Each song your teacher chooses for class uses different activities: fingerplays, bouncing children on laps, and instrument-play, to name a few. Though everyone’s expression of the activities may differ slightly, you are all working toward a common goal: to sing a song together.
Picture your class (adults and children) holding scarves while moving together as you sing. Not everyone is moving the same way, but you are all sharing the musical experience. Picture yourselves sitting in a circle with a drum on your lap (or a child and a drum on your lap!). Even though not everyone taps at the same volume, or even on the exact same beat, together, you still make a song. There’s something magical about that. As research suggests (and as millions of families have discovered), the very act of making music in a group can bring you closer to that group. Every week, your Music Together teacher facilitates a musical community—of which you are a valuable part.
The real possibility of lasting friendships
One former Music Together mom (her oldest is now a teenager!) met some other mommies in her Music Together Babies class. She was looking for an activity she could do with her 3-month-old during the colder months. She had experienced Music Together as a nanny, so when she had her own child, Music Together seemed an obvious choice. As a new mom, she found that meeting the other parents in her class was her first time meeting people in the same situation as her. She found parenting support among the community because, as she said, “We were all going through things at the same time.” Getting together with each other in class once a week expanded to walks, playdates, and eventually celebrating holidays and birthdays together. “It was a community of parents who became like family,” she says. Since those early days, some families moved away but are still in contact. Thirteen years later, her son is still “best buddies” with a friend from class. Another mom and she had their daughters at the same time. The families have gone on vacation together and are each other’s emergency contacts!
Of course, you might not find vacation buddies or emergency contacts in class, but we know how important it is for parents to feel connected to others, and how important it can be to get out of the house with your young children. And making music for its own sake, especially with the same group every week all semester, is just plain fun. So, keep coming to your Music Together class. Keep showing up and waving those scarves and tapping those drums. You are helping your child’s development in so many ways, and you might just make new friends yourself! Your musical community is waiting for you.
References:
Abrams, D.A., Ryali, S., Chen, T., Chordia, P., Khouzam, A., Levitin, D.J. & Menon, V. (2013). Inter-subject synchronization of brain responses during natural music listening. European Journal of Neuroscience, 37, 1458-1469. https://doi.org/10.1111/ejn.12173
Ilari, B., Helfter, S., & Huynh, T. (2020). Associations Between Musical Participation and Young Children’s Prosocial Behaviors. Journal of Research in Music Education, 67(4), 399–412. https://www.jstor.org/stable/48595364
Kirschner, S., & Tomasello, M. (2010). Joint music making promotes prosocial behavior in 4-year-old children. Evolution and Human Behavior, 31(5), 354-364. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.evolhumbehav.2010.04.004